This is all a lesson in allowing whatever that comes settle in and flow.
Though I am stationary, sitting on a small wicker stool, eyes closed, heart open, I'm not sure where the mind is but it feels like flying. What curious equipment we have. This whole journey is turning out to be an investigation into what drives creativity out of me. A navigational ride from the cosmos through to the psyche and out the other side. A willingness to travel to the depths of existence and make a soundtrack for the trip.
I began playing guitar seriously at the age of 8 when my parents signed me up for lessons and along with that, made me practice for at least an hour a day. I was a horrible student. Tried quitting a few times, until grade 7 when I decided I had enough. I did quit. Made excuses to skip out on a month's worth of lessons where the nylon string Samick sat in the corner firmly in it’s soft shell case. Reluctantly I was dragged back for one more lesson. One more Tuesday night from 7:00-8:00. I had horrible anxiety and a feeling of bottomless guilt that ran from my head to the souls of my feet, pure dread. Something changed, all of a sudden, all the theory and reading and technical jargon I was immersed in enabled something else to take over, and from that point forward I had to be told to put the guitar down. The only talent I have is that of perseverance.
Every time spectators come to visit intentionally or haphazardly, the amount of positive feedback is worth every minute of struggle I endure. My own challenges are in allowing this positive feedback to really sink in. This part feels counter intuitive. A group of Quebecois travelers made for a delightful audience for much of today’s session. Getting to learn the intricacies of the space is allowing for some memorable sonic presentations. Posture, angles, attack, touch, feel, tide level, wind, birds, humidity and a myriad of other performance variables create an experience not unlike the mixing of an album. Putting a lot of effort into what our ears are able to hear. Curating a special moment from all the variables at hand, today was a fulfilling effort.
