Day 16
Some distractions can deter a day's intent. Managing these dynamics really plays a role in my efforts to output. I have to practice pursuance, especially as self doubt creeps in. I can catch it quickly now and make the decided effort to plow onward no matter how loud or cruel that voice is. That voice was loud yesterday. I try to channel it towards my objectives and use it for motivation rather than self destruction.
The concept and practice of meditation is gaining main stream popularity these days, which is beautiful until it is made into a commodity and violated by marketers. The most liberating practices require nothing but time and a conscience space that opens one up to exploration. For my own benefit, fresh outside air is important. My phone turned off or left behind, and no obligations for a solid 20-30 mins.
My introduction to this world was in grade 4, in a small tight-knit French Immersion class from Madame Hebert. It was later in the afternoon, she had us all bring out the gym mats and clear the desks back. The blinds were closed and the fluorescent lights were shut off. For the next 20 minutes she put a spell on all of us. She had us floating on a cloud, putting us in touch with our bodies and then letting that body slip away. I will never forget the euphoria and the remarkable shift in everyone in the class for the remainder of the days. That year was special for this entrance into another realm in a most unlikely rural elementary school.
I never kept the practice up until a few years ago, not purposely anyway. It was when I was bedside to a dying man in severe pain. Agony I could not comprehend. Sleep was no longer possible. Each breath was a terrifying grimace, yet it was my best friend that shared his technique of meditation to work through any amount of suffering. It was incredible to witness. The radio was shut off, talking was too much energy. He loved hearing me play guitar, and ordered me to do so. From the couch a few inches away from the hospital bed I could play at a whisper, my favorite volume. This happened to be the time I started working on a composition by the great kora master of Mali, Toumani Diabate. Elyne Road, from his Mande Variations record, transcribed by Derek Gripper who I began studying under. An album of such raw beauty If music could be perfect, this is as close as it gets. An album of solo kora. I had never heard anything so profound in my life. Hearing me work through the mechanics with hours of repetition and variation had tremendous calming effects on everyone. It gave me new found purpose and an opportunity to witness first hand the healing powers of music. So meditation, music, trance, healing it all coincided together into a life of awareness and healing. I never liked that word as it implies being broken, but that was my ego talking.
I had looked into studying formal "music therapy" in a post secondary setting and I was less than impressed with the scope of courses and departmental directions it laid out. That route was clearly not for me to follow. So I embark on it from another direction.
