Day 90
"It's impossible to love without tears." - Dr. Cornel West
"Turn pain into a simple plan." - Jason Molina
I'm writing this before the 90th consecutive session. One would think I'd have "figured something out" or if anything, feel improved on the guitar. if I have, I don't notice either. What I have experienced is that I always feel like a beginner, every time I open up the guitar case I get excited with glee but feel as if it's a whole new start. Everything that came before is not as important as I once thought. But, everything prior has prepared me for encountering each arising moment, so it does matter but In ways that are subtle, a kind of invisible phenomena. A tool for connectivity with an openness to what comes naturally, letting go of everything that no longer serves.
Carrying the torch of a "force for good," as John Coltrane set out with A Love Supreme. A life in pursuit through art, music, creativity, work, that allows us to persist in a world of envy, hatred, cruelty, corruption... to be inspired and to pass that along in every waking breath and every interaction with the brothers and sisters of the world. My impetus and early struggles with trying to reconcile so much hatred and cruelty around the world had fangs in my psyche. I could not fathom a solution. I had the answer all along. I have been preparing since I began studying the guitar at age 7. The 90 days inside the temple that found me was the very reconciliation activity that I required, and still do. An act of deep introspection but also an act of complete sharing and opening up myself to all the vulnerabilities are self constructions.
Celebrating the concrete forms of love, goodness, community, dreams, inspirations, the nature of creativity, the temporal nature of life, the meanings of existence, the virtues of hard work and the celebration of beauty in all aspects of the natural world. To act in kindness in all interactions and iterations, to share mutual respect for each individual. Acknowledge the work required to overcome the negative personal emotions we all carry to activate the best out of ourselves and others. Share your pain. The Camera Obscura is an encapsulation of this very idea. A space that can be totally in isolation from the outside but with a lens looking out at the world, a duality that shows me not to be a victim of thoughts and emotions but a carrier of sorts. To transmit the struggles into something else so they don't eat away at the heart and soul of the being. To be continued…
Peace to all,
-J
PS. I’ll throw a video of session 89 up in a few days, I’ve had a lot of requests but wanted to wait until the project was fulfilled.
