06/4/19

Day 35

I have been working on a piece for 2-3 days now, and it holds special ties to my Vancouver life. During those years I had to hustle for work as a musician. It was for survival. Slowly, cover acts replaced original bands, pop and country music paid the bills and it was eroding something in me. I needed a balance. Enter Ground Truthing. G T for short. It was entirely serendipitous, an accidental submersion. They heard my silent plea and I theirs. We still share molecules. Nothing was spoken, everything wide open and no stone was left un-turned.

Ground Truthing - To lie on your back on outside ground and take in the universe and our place in it.

Three souls collide and gather together for Sunday sabbaths in an industrial cave to be immersed in seclusion with no windows or outside energy to corrupt the flow of emotion released through music. Heavy metal bands were always rumbling through walls down hallways from other jam spaces reminding us we were never alone.

To get to Railway and Jackson near the old docks of Vancouver's Downtown East Side you have to pass through the full depths of rawness of humanity, no matter what time of day, people's darkest hours are exposed here. A few blocks north of East Hastings this area always felt like the fringe of the fringes. Less of the expose of Main and Hastings where the larger congregations happen. The few blocks away from here reveals even darker depths. Overdoses morph to deceases. Survivors of abuses but whats left are sufferers with no choices. These hearts found a place in me, even if I had to quicken the pace as a police confrontation goes down or a paramedic gives way to the coroner. It was never a threatening place. Desperate, sick, and often hopeless but also genuine, real, unfiltered and room for smiles and 'hellos'. All of this found a natural way into the music, unintentional.

I met Faye first. We played in the same group for a few shows backing up a wonderful soul and singer / songwriter, Lisa O'Neil. These tender broken songs, revealing so much fragility but brought to life with utter conviction. She made an awesome record and we were doing a run of CD releases in Vancouver, Faye was an hour or two late and joined in on bass mid rehearsal. We didn't really connect much until after the first gig at the well known Little Mountain Studios space. It was a true renegade vibe, well worn wood with many layers of paint, like a High School art room that's survived decades of disrepair but continues to ooze with creativity in abundance.

After our set I grabbed a complimentary a beer from a plastic cup, so did Faye and we struck up conversation. I was 23 or 24, we just played all this music together through a few weeks of rehearsals, then a show, an obvious entry point was to ask what was the music that inspires her. Right away Daniel Lanois and A Silver Mt. Zion were mentioned and I was sold. Turns out she isn't only a bass player, and her main thing is this crickety and temperamental vibraphone from the 1930s that has ghosts and rust and spooks and so much fucked up beauty. Beyond that, she plays the drums and was on a level I could understand and communicate in. Curiosity was peaked right away. Cool, vibraphone and steel guitar, let's try it out some afternoon. So we did and it was unlike anything I ever played or heard before. We were both mesmerized by the sound mixture of the pedal steel and vibe combination, little did I know I would enter into a union that still exists today.

Faye had a cohort, Braden. I could tell right away they were more serious and intense than the crowds I was used to circling. We became deep, entrusted blood friends. We shared an instant connection that crossed levels beyond music. We found a tribe and it is still belonging. Musically we all entered the space with no ego. It dissolved upon entry with a deep understanding without ever having to be discussed with words. I found out 6 or 8 months later that Faye and Braden had just ended a lengthy relationship (that’s how much we talked) I can't even imagine. There was pure power, fragility, uncertainty and conviction in the music we made. It contained the heaviness I craved, a beauty I'd never heard before and with an urgency that needed to escape. I still think of these souls often. We even kept making music when I moved to Nova Scotia in 2013 via email. So much unreleased music. I might change that in the near future.

Before moving mountains to get to Nova Scotia, I needed to book some studio time for us to capture the set of songs we had been immersed in, to document this project in a serious way. We had played some captivating shows, we're just beginning to spread out and take our sound to audiences when I moved. That was the hardest situation to leave in body.

A storied Vancouver studio called The Hive was shutting its doors around this time and I booked their Bee Room for 3 days. We were one of the last bands to work in there on my last weekend in the city. One particular song that Faye had conjured needed some moving parts but had to retain a calmness, almost lullaby effect. It was either late one night or early the next morning when I had some moments alone to do a rare overdub - an acoustic guitar that filled this role. A finger picking pattern I had never done before. This band has been essential to my development as a guitar player. The songs seemed to always require something I had never done before on the instrument. Total expansion of rhythm, harmony, sound structure, ambiance etc... All of this with no discussion of any such details. We never spoke of chord voicings or tempos. It was plug in and take off. We did this for 3 or 4 years with several gaps that would stretch a few months here or there.

Here is a new creation I am working on and at the bottom is the unreleased GT song from 2013. You can easily hear the thread.

06/3/19

Perseverance at work today, as the rains fall hard on the shores. Even the birds were silenced as water pooled and ran to find lowest ground. I holed up inside the chamber and let the sound surround and engulf to take me away for 90 minutes. It took great effort to coax the guitar to life. Feeling drained by a few physically hard days, I stayed true to the mission. I had a quick look at 30 days ago to see where I was at, investigating the idea of taking ownership of our emotions rather than being burdened and drowned by them. I had to dig a bit deeper today. These feelings are our teachers. I think of Dr. Gabor Mate often, who articulates many benefits for living the best life we can by understanding the connections between our emotional trappings and physical or mental illness. His definition of freedom is poignant. He believes freedom for the individual is the space between any stimuli and our reaction to that. Rather than being a passenger to our emotions, this realization gives way to sense of autonomy to be the person we want to be, to react from a place of compassion, love and understanding. To ditch (in my case defensiveness, judgement, guilt etc..) the behaviors that no longer serve us.

With a project like this, there is a sense of letting go of the "90 days in a row" part and just accepting that this is all my own creation and I simply love playing the guitar. Just do it vs. thinking about it. The problem for me is the amount of things I hear in my head in the run of a given day. These performances are another way of quieting that busy mind and allowing the music to pour out. Seeing what the guitar has to offer on this new day. Experiencing the inertia that creativity has and how it impacts my life. It is no different than the daily steadfast work on a farm, accept and move onward. Trust that we have the tools to get through everything we face. No matter how hard the pull to stay in bed is, all it takes is one step in the right direction to set a day of positive growth in motion. Upon completing a day of work or a session of music I am 100% of the time left feeling full of the joy that accomplishment brings and rejuvenation and the satisfaction of completing something, or at least attempting with honest efforts.. The rewards of daily work and the ability to confront our undesired behaviors head on and overcome deep seeded fears make room for new dreams and only directs toward a life of fulfillment.

06/2/19

Day 33

“Do you think devils and demons are the same thing” - little cousin Cormack.

Youthful energy and wisdom refreshing for my system. Shared a beautiful afternoon with family folks, a fine way to explore the Obscura for the day’s session. I was circled by my cousin for about 5 or 6 minutes while playing a new and bright sounding major key piece, his steps marched to the beat in time as he went around and around and around. I ended the song and he paused, then in the most sincerely soft tone he asked, “Do you think devils and demons are the same thing?” We both agreed that they were. He seemed relieved by this conclusion.

06/1/19

Day 32

If one we're to have come in today they would have noticed blood on my sleeves, dirt covered bruises on my hands and dried sweat everywhere. A tad tardy ta boot. Farming is routine but that doesn't mean it's ever dull. The things you experience tending large and small animals are guiding preparations for events to come. I was triggered by a blood covered steer, only one eye visible through the mess of resonant red was staring through me, poor fella lost a horn. As bad as it looked and after a draw to end the wrestling (wrangling) match we had to allow it to be cleaned, he'll be fine. The Great One-Horned-Hectar. It was seeing so much blood of the innocent pour out, that hurts, that brings on waves of things that I can never unsee. These moments will all become gifts. Some are harder to accept and some hold lessons we can't ever forget. A dog gave me strength. I gave her everything in return. I sing a song for her on day 15. I think of her more often than not. Music flowed without effort an appropriate contrast to the work day.

05/31/19

Day 31

Water retreat.

No breaks today, all music. New bird songs ringing clear at low tide made for a peaceful, relaxing 90 minutes. There is a calmness about low tide I have only recently begun experiencing. Over the last 6 years in these parts, it has been the high tides that have the strongest call for me to be near. Today felt different as the deep seabed floor reveals her secrets. The cliffs toward Cape Blomidon glistening ruby red as the furthest out mudflats contrast intensely as they reflect the crystalline skies from below. The yellow tinged sky holds darkness in the blue and silver shadowed clouds across the Bay. The stillness is deceiving. It is always moving, shifting and these subtle changes are not dissimilar to what happens in the efforts to make this music. Always movement, even in the steady repetition there are shifts and accents as the curved walls reflect and echo the notes or swallow them whole.

05/30/19

Day 30

Aim towards the sun and ward off destructive thoughts, use the Auroras in your eyes, the guides are there if we are open to looking.

I still don't know what I am doing by sharing these findings but it is only helping to uncover the underlying layers of the creative process as it unfolds. Much like the blossoms that are growing, everyday I notice the minute changes that over a longer period become drastic. Musically, it has been one of the most satisfying projects, fueling a lot of material and time well spent on trying to improve while having a platform to present the works in one of the coolest soundscape settings I have ever been in. The daily routine feels no different than the rewards of putting my work boots on and grabbing my pitchfork to take care of the farm duties, a job that requires absolute presence in every moment and a physical and keen spacial awareness at all times. These are aspects I try to carry over into everyday situations, keeping distractions at bay. Allowing time to focus on the things that are most important, understanding the nature of passion and the importance of having pursuit.

Up until 30 days ago, I spent very little time learning and practicing the "wandarian" technique. The albums I've recorded have mostly been improvised and came from curating a space and environment that allowed me to go to the depths of myself to reach and grab this music to bring it up to the surface. There was always an aspect of, "Maybe this is the last time it will work." Or as I remember hearing Leonard Cohen saying once, "Keep the pleasures short." I didn't want to overdue or corrupt the discovery of this new guitar mode and tried to maintain a special place for this expression by rarely going there. At some point over the last year of working tirelessly on the electric Wandarian record I reached a moment where I had to do some honing in and wanted to really get a handle on the technique.

So the Concert Obscura thing was born out of this desire to gain focus, achieve a level where I can control as many variables as I can to produce the "song" that I continually hear from the guitar and to present this craft as any artisan would. Watching a rug maker hooking, a carver carve, a painter mixing colours etc... I have always been inspired by the process of any creative endeavor.

The surprises that come from putting myself out there have been so positive and encouraging. The people have come with open minds and are always warmed by the sounds. Sharing my love of the area, the Bay, the guitar, this alien structure in the middle of rural Nova Scotia is a great privilege. 30 days sure flies by.

05/29/19

Day 29

An unexpected listener, a veteran in their early 60's described the sounds they heard as this: "You found a new way to collect and organize the notes that no one has ever done before. As if you've taken everything that you've learned and re-organized it into something of a complete and unique system."

I appreciate perspectives, wherever they come from. The "re-organizing" and "unique system" hit a few points, referring to the mode I am trying to explore and a vocabulary I am continually creating. I also appreciate the part where he said, "Taken everything you've learned" as this is the real heart of what is going on. It also applies to everything and everyone attempting anything. We are a culmination of our own experiences and events which lead to the present moment as being the sum of all parts.

I can dissect some aspects of what I am doing with this music and pin point specific influences and pieces of the puzzle along the way, but that is not my objective. The truth I am reaching for lies deeper inside or perhaps it is spread far beyond in the cosmos. The micro / macro of things and the contrasting reflections give way to pause and mystery. That is the place where creativity lives, in these moments of wandering with wonder.

It was serendipity when I discovered these sounds and instantly saw the guitar in an entirely different way that while I happened to be reading a local history text from 1992 by Reggie Clark of Walton, NS. It was photocopied and spiral bound by hand and contained local facts and tidbits of the area and accounts of industries and life in the small rural village that had various times of prosperity and mostly depression. The 19th and early 20th centuries were dominated by the ship building industry and it was in these records that the name of a "tern" jumped out at me and everything became clear, WANDARIAN was birthed. A vessel this became. An embarkment on a new journey, a place to explore, a mode of travel and a means to get somewhere. It has indeed re-organized my outlook of music making through the guitar.

05/28/19

Day 28

Gassire’s Lute:

The lute did not sing. "Look here, the lute does not sing." The smith said: "That's what I told you in the first place." Gassire said: "Well, make it sing." The smith said: "I cannot do anything more about it. The rest is your affair." Gassire said: "What can I do, then?" The smith said: "This is a piece of wood. It cannot sing if it has no heart. You must give it a heart. Carry this with the stroke of your sword. The wood must absorb down-dripping blood, blood of your blood, breath of your breath. Your pain must be its pain, your fame its fame. The wood may no longer be like the wood of a tree, but must be penetrated by and be a part of your people. Therefore it must live not only with you but with your sons. Then will the tone that comes from your heart echo in the ear of your son and live on in the people, and your son's life's blood, oozing out of his heart, will run down your body and live on in this piece of wood."

-Excerpt from a story dating back to 500 B.C., from the epic, Dausi from the Soninke, a small remnant group inhabiting the desert oases of Tichit and Walatu, West Africa.

A few points of interest in this passage, most notably is the reference to the lute, of which the guitar directly descends from, all the way back to 500 years B.C. I am certainly not comparing my efforts of guitar playing to the life of a warrior (although there is sometimes friction and a battle-like will of determination), what I find intriguing is the transformation from tree to instrument to music. For the instrument to make sound it needs life, this is obvious. The literal use of blood reveals violent times of the past but it contrasts nicely to needing the breath, the heart and the pain. I think about sacrifice often, what it took me to learn the guitar continues to feel sacrificial, an alienation and a self-imposed pursuit that looks and can feel at times like exile.

Looking back to the early years of learning, it seems so innocent and naive. To embark on the pursuit without a clear outcome of what the future of that entails can open up the possibility of mystery, discovery, disappointment and failure. Nowadays, It is the moment when I am grounded the most - with my right arm around the body and left hand caressing the neck, freeing up the fingers to grace, attack and manipulate the strings, a position so familiar that the mind can let go and explore freely and limitless. For many years and at times with brute force I had to struggle to get anywhere on the instrument. "You must give it a heart." I love this statement. It is poignant and speaks volumes. This can be said of any undertaking we pursue. We get out what we put in.

05/27/19

Day 27

To the tune of dripping rain, singing robins and blanketing fog.

I no longer care if this comes across as cheesy, but something I heard on CBC Radio more than half my life ago continues to have positive results in my everyday life. Take the very last awake moment before sleep to conjure a few things that brought some form of happiness or gratitude throughout that day. It has been and continues to be a litmus test of how my life is going. I like how often it connects the smallest of things to the present moment and relates that to the larger embodiment of life. It acts as a personal tour guide through experience and how one perceives events, emotions, interactions, reactions... In my experiences this simple reflective exercise is as important to continue whether life is taking a turn for the worst or whether you are thriving. In this contrast we gain access to the full spectrum of existence. When life has you in the gutter, how can anyone be grateful for anything? These are times when I can connect with the body, experience the vessel we have been gifted, thankful for working limbs and organs, the ability to think clearly or the freedoms we are privileged with in this country, in this time in history. Once we gain access to these levels of gratitude rather than dwelling on the opposite, a new perspective takes over and it allows for a lightness to hover over our sometimes mired days.

Nowadays my challenges are to arise in the morning and reflect on moments of joy or gratitude. Same exercise, but I tend to struggle with the morning version as it takes a lot of effort and will power to pause and bring the positives into focus before I embark on another day. I do not know why this is the case, but it continues to calibrate perspective and focus on what is important vs. what doesn't serve anymore.

Another day of harsh conditions for performing in a damp, cold dark structure but another opportunity to rise above and overcome any of life’s challenges by simply showing up and giving everything. These gloomy days are fun to explore cheerful and major key songs, contrasting the heavy weights of grays and cold. The opposite can be true. Playing dark, minor, intense sounds on clear, sunny, vibrant days. My objective is to allow whatever comes to come flowing regardless of expectations.

05/26/19

Day 26

A group of about 30 came by yesterday and we’re left bewildered. They thought somebody was playing a stereo until they saw the guitar case and then me on my little wicker perch. I enjoy this element of surprise that people experience when they walk up the hill to the structure and discover the source of the music. Sharing these sounds with strangers is fulfilling, it also feels like a survey to a research project. I am fortunate to share my love of the Bay and this area to passerby’s alongside the music. My aim has always been to keep things humble and intimate, audiences can wander the structure as they please and hover over me to gain access into my process and the technical aspects as to how I achieve these sounds. To bring smiles, joy and movement to bodies is a reward that never gets old. To conjure imaginations that aren’t my own and allow for an exchange of ideas and wonderment brings everything full circle.

This is the view when I look up.

05/25/19

Day 25

. Do no harm, do what you love, find and hold on to peace.

Walking through a geological epochs, the ocean floor’s resonances move through each rock to the souls of my feet upwards through my body until another eye envisions tracks of dinosaurs roaming these low tide landscapes. As wild as this Bay can turn, the beauty always shimmers through. Constant motion connecting sea to sky. It is easy to lose oneself in time and place but hard to comprehend the power. Distant echoes of ship wrecks. Flint remainders of previous times. The simmering eagle seeing in all directions has his back to me. Unflinching as two crows swoop down to commence the attack. Eagle remains statue still, eyes on all directions with the mate further out at tide's edge, waiting for the next meal to arrive. Reminding us to see in all directions, journey to each one of the directions often and keep watch.

Each day starts with a new challenge to overcome, for better or worse, freedom is this choice to sink or swim. Only we know the path that we ought to take. It is littered with the plastic of consumerism with the twist ties of words that are bent and meant to bruise, attack, hurt and scar beyond repair. The only thing I am certain of is that life is fragile and that the sun will rise again. Observe and learn as we create our own realities.

05/24/19

Day 24

Learning that most fear is a construct and all of our worries will be meaningless. Receive the gifts that Mother Nature gives and replenish them, in return it is love, life and creativity that we must choose over hatred, cruelty and destruction.

I have this thought that keeps appearing as a residual to a few years of processing and mourning the deaths of some dear people. The sudden and unexpected passing of my father, the suicide of an uncle two days before my dad and the long suffering of a best friend sick with cancer who chose the medically assisted route. Each one of these holds a life worth of lessons and teachings. The reoccurring thought is that every worry and stress each of us carries can dictate so much suffering of our everyday living. These things simply vanish when the lights of life are turned off. The remainder, what is left, are the kind moments and the virtues of one’s existence passed along as the good deeds of strangers, the smallest smile when you’re down or the timeliest acknowledgement that we are not so alone. This is leaving me to believe that people are generally good. Things are not portrayed this way in the big media corps and fast food frenzy life has become swallowed up in. These are all reflections and takeaways from another session of discovery. Everyday has new challenges contrasted by gifts of insight and new music being born.

05/23/19

Day 23

“The artist: disciple, abundant, multiple, restless

The true artist: capable, practicing, skillful;

maintains dialogue with the heart, meets things with the mind.

The true artist: draws out from all the heart, works with delight, makes things calm, with sagacity, works like a true Toltec, composes objects, works dexterously, invents;

arranges materials, adorns them, makes them adjust.

The carrion artist: works at random, sneers at the people, makes things opaque, brushes across the surface of the face of things, works without care, defrauds people, is a thief.”

-Aztec

"Songs are thoughts, sung out with the breath when people are moved by great forces & ordinary speech no longer suffices. Man is moved just like the ice flow sailing here and there in the current. Thoughts are driven by a flowing force when he feels joy, when he feels fear, when he feels sorrow. Thoughts can wash over him like flood, making his breath come in gasps & his heart throb. Something like an abatement in the weather will keep him thawed up. And then it will happen that we, who always think we are small, will feel still smaller. And we will fear to use words. But it will happen that the words we need will come of themselves. When the words we want to use shoot up of themselves - we get a new song."

- Statement by Orpingalik, Netsilik Inuit

Both excerpts from Technicians of the Sacred

I have been asked a few times, "Why are you doing this?"

The cynic in me would reply, "Why do anything?"

A clear calling, a creative performance and endurance challenge. I also enjoy the hell out of the guitar and want to provide people to hear sounds in a unique setting and space. I want to share the sounds I have unearthed that dispel the norm or cliched "licks" and "riffs" that are like the stagnant waters of the guitar. Nothing against those sounds, they played a significant part to my development that I am proud to acknowledge. Underneath though, lies a deeper search for understanding and truth, a sound that cycles and drowns. A sound that I can hear and am attempting at all costs to get out. Immersing myself in a space and time that allows for little distraction, that has a pleasing tone that does not live inside the comforts of my home. Nature isn't so structured as to contain neatly compartmentalized verses and choruses, nor does this music. Tapping into a source, a well to drink from and to water the garden for growth.

05/22/19

Trying to keep trusting intuition and the creation of resilience.

As the strong winds pick up I am noticing the sonic variances that the tide is responsible for. This is a brand new discovery. It is astonishing. Today's heavy fogged high tide creates a sunken sound which poses a challenge in getting the melodies to rise above the low air mass. Even the usually light and fluttering birds singing that rings throughout the cave are masked and anchored by the weight contained in the salt air. It’s a struggle to dig deeper into the instrument to produce the desired sounds but this is often the nature of things. “Accept the things you cannot change.” That is my take-a-way from all the religious doctrines I endured.

Similar weather conditions are expected for the next session, so my aim is to travel into the darkest minor tuning I have and use the weight and lower registered sounds to my advantage. Rather than fight and struggle, I want the process to flow downstream on a river and use the variables (broken fingernails, wind, fog, rain, cold, tide, vehicles, etc..) to harness whatever sound that wants to come alive. To explore the hardships of existence and realize that the nature of it all can be looked upon as a gift, and every challenge an opportunity to learn, grow and evolve.

05/21/19

Thoughts aren’t made of concrete but they can build some great walls.

Along with the regiment of performing for 3 months as an installation in the Camera, I’ve wanted to implement some breathing work into my routine. This project has been the perfect outlet to be consistent in adopting the Wim Hof method readily available to everybody. Doesn’t require money or any supplemental things, just 20 minutes and an open mind. It gets pretty deep, but there is no worry or stress. Fear, anxieties and depressive thoughts fade away like magic.There is even laboratory research proving this method triggers our immune system to go to work at repairing ourselves. It positively informs every thought and interaction I have in a given day. So often we get triggered by something and it can derail us instantly. Since incorporating his method the moments of turmoil which could reverberate in my system for hours and even days simply vanish, while the positive things can soar to new heights and uplift the darkest of days.

Inside the cold, dark and damp cavern aching from a day of farm duties, I unpack my guitar, slide the wicker box I use for a chair and immerse myself into sound and partake in another session of exploration, experiment and joy. Allowing whatever comes to flow, letting go of any expectations. It is a joy to unwind on this level and a thrill just to make music.

05/20/19

Cold rain dancing on parabolas on a backdrop that can’t wash the fingerprints of ghosts’ fear away, they must be tamed.

Most of my time is spent searching for the song from the innocent heart that keeps me alive. The song is elusive and always just beyond reach. How do we get there? How do we know it even exists? A few days after discovering this "Wandarian" mode/technique, I was doing some work deep down a logging road in the middle of the bush a long way from anywhere and anyone. It was in the midst of an autumn afternoon when I had a visitor in the form of a white wolf. I saw him twice that day and never again, he directed me towards a magnificent maple tree in full foliage. I could feel the bright intense glow of the sun yellow leaves pulsating. The glean was tangible as I attempted to walk away, but it kept calling me back. So I turned around to this marvel and succumbed to the awe. There was a lasting exchange of energy.

Often we forget to appreciate the little things life has to offer. The gifts that potential brings are endless. This maple tree in a forest of a million trees was there to illuminate something inside of me. My own sacred tree, the great symbol of the gifts that Mother Nature provides from the fruit to shelter, warmth to transportation, shade to delicacy, air and nests and song and beyond.

These kind of in-tune events give me reassurance, affirmation of the ether and the wonderment of each moment and showing me the courage it takes to thrive, grow a little bit each day and adapt to the surroundings and seasons that turn beyond our hands of control. The thing about being closed minded is it doesn't allow anything to penetrate in but it also blocks the outflow. We create and manifest our own suffering. If one stops to take time from the daily grind of societal expectation and convention to stop and take breaths and enjoy the presence of unspoken wisdom’s that lie at every turn of the way, things would be simpler. Find happiness in these small, precious moments. Doing something for others always raises happiness.

05/19/19

"Transcend everyday, then go about your life." - David Lynch

Witnessing the grasses and plant life rise and twist to orientate themselves towards the sun looks to me like they are trying to teach us something. Seeing the subtle changes before my eyes, watching as the buds open up and absorb light. This project is reinforcing and enabling a lot of beneficial tranquil moments that allow not only for reflection inside but also to look out and into the beyond.

I am constantly surprised by what the physical space has to offer on an emotional level, aside from my original purpose of simply uncovering and researching the sonic properties and the music making / creating. Stepping into the main room is isolating and dark. Confronting alone-ness while looking at the world through a lens. Learning that through uncovering, facing and overcoming our own unique sufferings can activate the best in those around us. Getting rid of baggage, traits or habits that no longer serve. Allowing for and experiencing the limitlessness of peace that is obtainable to anyone who seeks it. Deriving inspiration from the natural world alongside the work of hands.

I listened to a revealing David Lynch conversation this morning and it was inspiring hearing him discuss his 46 years of experience in the practice of meditation and the potentials of having this and similar modalities in our daily lives. I am discovering some of these potentials in this process and always feel better after the exercise.

These are a few words that came to me before I embarked on this project, they seem appropriate:

To reconcile all the cruelty

90 days of routine obscurity

To share the pain and joy

On both sides of six strings

All the tides and in-between

A vessel into exploring unto

The depths of seeing out and into

Of knowing and unknowing

To overthrow the status quo

Finding peace in the doing so

And tranquility in just being

05/18/19

Electric Wandarian

The performances continue to inspire an endless supply of ideas. This has always been a fear, and I’ve lived with the feeling that if I don’t play everyday, it will all slip away.

I am writing before today's Obscura session as this evening I am heading into the studio to finally mix a record. For the last 8-9 months I have been labouring away at an electric Wandarian album. Initially I didn't have much intended as I didn't know how the technique would translate to the electric guitar. I had one early on half-hazard attempt going electric and it sounded dull so I gave the idea up, never thought much about it again. I like the limitations of making these sounds simply with the acoustic instruments. I am not certain what compelled me, but on the evening of November 18th, 2018, I had a session booked to record a set of classical guitar material in the Camera, which I did, I aim to release this at some point. However, Charles arrived early that afternoon and I my set up my amp and my old 65 Jaguar all set up and just to see what would happen, he threw up a mic or two and pressed record.

I tracked about 6 or 7 songs, an hour of material that afternoon and gently explored the possibilities of an electric album. I kept going deeper. I found an inroad when I altered another capo. This tool allows for subtle and drastic variances of tone, feel and vibe. The album is comprised of 3-4 different sessions with unique setups for each. A few surprises along the way a few revelations and a myriad of new future directions to head in. The amount of work I have put into the electric album is astonishing, but it is my favorite kind of work - exercising passion.

The parameters are still firmly in place. No overdubs, no effects (other than reverb) and all single performance takes. Using the Jaguar with it's bloody high action, the original threaded bridge and my trusty and road worn AC 30 and Deluxe amps in stereo, the platform for sound is up to my hands, heart, imagination and other. Most guitarists like to make things easier with their equipment. My approach is often to make it harder, use heavier strings, record in non-studio environments, open up the unexpected. It forces me to dig in deeper for the notes and not to overplay.

Most pieces begin with a few plucks of the strings behind the capo. This is how I "tune" the capo, adjusting the tension is vital for the type of sound, resonance, timbre, tone, pitch and feel, all of which I can control and alter before and during a performance. After a few small turns and a couple tries to get it just so, then I can begin. Right away this puts me in what feels like an "other state."

Using two different tunings I've developed over the last few years the moods and atmospheres are limitless. Teamed with an entire fret board of capo placement options I feel like a child learning about the galaxies. The music that comes from my experimenting recording sessions has a different kind of exuberance, a DIY lo-fi rawness that shakes things up. Some may feel uncomfortable at some moments, but without that tension there can't be beauty. It is all about contrast and balance. Charles Austin (engineer) said it sounds as if "Two brothers are playing mbiras - thumb pianos, who are dueling back and forth. They love each other to the core but there is conflict, resolution and potential joy."

05/17/19

Day 17

Rattles and shakes, trance states, the marovany and MONJA

If it were't for a blitz attempt at another Turnstiles record in May of 2015, I would not have stumbled upon the sounds of the wandarian mode. Record making involves some downtime during setup changes or when someone is trying to hone a part in. My favorite person to make records with is Charles Austin and to toss albums and artists back and forth is always a fruitful ear opening delight. The serendipity of these circumstances makes me wonder a bit deeper. The Turnstiles' second album remains shelved, sadly, but I am forever grateful for everything that went down.

He sent me packing with a playlist of about 150 songs, from a lot artists I could not pronounce. A lot of field recordings from Madagascar. Group vocal songs with only shakers or bone rattles for accompaniment, wooden flute pieces, a few guitar sounding songs. It was a new world to me, but deeply familiar. Up until then I was only ever aware of the music coming out of West Africa. The sounds from Madagascar are filled with wonder, joy and a rawness I have yet to hear anywhere else. A fascinating history developed in the world's largest island due to the influence from trade routes. Deeper in the playlist I came to a sound that I had never heard before in this flesh life a connection I felt instantly and a fascination that still pours inspiration over me and into what I am reaching for with the guitar. I knew it wasn't a fretted instrument, I didn't even believe these sounds were coming from one person.

The marovany is a hand made parallelipipedal hollow wooden box with openings at each end. Each musician constructs to their own needs, using whatever supplies are at hand. Two courses of strings on each side of the box sit atop individual wooden bridges, maneuvered for tuning. The metal strings are old brake cables unwound from bicycles or clutch cables from motorbikes. I am not certain how they are fashioned to the box or how they get up to tension. There is not a single widespread tuning, it is up to the individual and depends on which area they live. A lot of mystery lies in this music. The instrument and its music is used as a connecting link between the world of the living and the world of the dead.

Using the thumb and index fingers of each hand is how the kora is played in West Africa. The marovany player uses this same basic idea but can throw in additional fingers for chording and otherwise. The music that comes from these highly stylized players is awe inspiring, trance inducing and unlocks the body to move and dance as the mind is freed to connect with natural states. Used in ceremony, gatherings and everyday life I fell in love with this music.

Like many cultures around the globe, there is a sacred side and a secular side. The traditional music of Madagascar formed its identity with influences from various horizons: the Austronesian peoples on the one hand, and African, Arab and European migratory populations on the other. There are over 18 ethnic groups in Madagascar. I personally am drawn to the rustic traditional sounds from solo performers and smaller groups ensembles.

Out of these traditions is Monja. Mahafay Gege Monja, born in 1970 in Ambovombe Androy. He inherited his gifts as a musician and healer from his mother who took him to "tromba" - gatherings devoted to divination, healing the sick and exorcism. I tracked down this album made of solo marovany instrumentals performed by Monja. I do not know how or why, but instantly in the first few seconds I was immediately captivated. I still am. He is regarded highly in his country and in the last few months I recently learned he has other sides along to his mastery of this traditional instrument. He also leads and sings in a Malagasy pop band, complete with auto-tuned vocals and music videos. He seems to go by a few different names, he is an enigma.

The album I have is from 2001, recorded in Tananarive. There sounds to me to be ultimate freedom in his playing, similar to a lot of the kora music I love but a bit more reckless sounding. That is something I have been seeking my entire life on the guitar. Initially the performances sound wild, raw, unexpected twits and rhythmic turns with dizzying melodies cycling around and back again. Improvisation is there I imagine but so are defined "tunes." Where those lines are I am not certain. I don't like the term virtuoso as it implies a show-off-y flamboyance in Western society, but Monja certainly has a deep grasp of the instrument and the development he has undergone is even more impressive.

Two more recent videos from Small Island, Big Song available on youtube show Monja comfortably sitting in a courtyard, children up on balconies overlooking and a woman dancing in her chair next to Monja sitting on the ground. Maybe 13-14 years after the album his playing is graceful, elegant but without losing any of the excitement and flurries of the earlier work. There is gentle harmonic development that is not found in his earlier work, and space that is so beautiful. He then starts singing of the 200 or so views these videos received I reckon at least half of them are mine, the other Charles.

I by no means can play marovany music on the guitar, (check out D’Gary for that) but I am inspired and have found this two handed approach to be in the realm of what I am experimenting with.

05/16/19

Day 16

Some distractions can deter a day's intent. Managing these dynamics really plays a role in my efforts to output. I have to practice pursuance, especially as self doubt creeps in. I can catch it quickly now and make the decided effort to plow onward no matter how loud or cruel that voice is. That voice was loud yesterday. I try to channel it towards my objectives and use it for motivation rather than self destruction.

The concept and practice of meditation is gaining main stream popularity these days, which is beautiful until it is made into a commodity and violated by marketers. The most liberating practices require nothing but time and a conscience space that opens one up to exploration. For my own benefit, fresh outside air is important. My phone turned off or left behind, and no obligations for a solid 20-30 mins.

My introduction to this world was in grade 4, in a small tight-knit French Immersion class from Madame Hebert. It was later in the afternoon, she had us all bring out the gym mats and clear the desks back. The blinds were closed and the fluorescent lights were shut off. For the next 20 minutes she put a spell on all of us. She had us floating on a cloud, putting us in touch with our bodies and then letting that body slip away. I will never forget the euphoria and the remarkable shift in everyone in the class for the remainder of the days. That year was special for this entrance into another realm in a most unlikely rural elementary school.

I never kept the practice up until a few years ago, not purposely anyway. It was when I was bedside to a dying man in severe pain. Agony I could not comprehend. Sleep was no longer possible. Each breath was a terrifying grimace, yet it was my best friend that shared his technique of meditation to work through any amount of suffering. It was incredible to witness. The radio was shut off, talking was too much energy. He loved hearing me play guitar, and ordered me to do so. From the couch a few inches away from the hospital bed I could play at a whisper, my favorite volume. This happened to be the time I started working on a composition by the great kora master of Mali, Toumani Diabate. Elyne Road, from his Mande Variations record, transcribed by Derek Gripper who I began studying under. An album of such raw beauty If music could be perfect, this is as close as it gets. An album of solo kora. I had never heard anything so profound in my life. Hearing me work through the mechanics with hours of repetition and variation had tremendous calming effects on everyone. It gave me new found purpose and an opportunity to witness first hand the healing powers of music. So meditation, music, trance, healing it all coincided together into a life of awareness and healing. I never liked that word as it implies being broken, but that was my ego talking.

I had looked into studying formal "music therapy" in a post secondary setting and I was less than impressed with the scope of courses and departmental directions it laid out. That route was clearly not for me to follow. So I embark on it from another direction.